Khalibari

"Khalibari" bole ekta faka bhite-mati chhilo amader barir thik pashe... math chhilona seta.. kintu amader football..cricket...batminton...er math khalibari e chhilo... 
                  asol khalibaritar malik chhilen (mane ekhono achhen) Ananta Nath, kintu ei bhiter thik pashei Alakh Kakuder bhite tao achhe.. Khalibari bolte abar dutokei bojhano hoto kokhono kokhono... duto jomike alada kore rekhechhilo ekta kul gachh... Alakh Kakuder bhite take sima-rekhar moto ghire rekhechhilo sari sari gachh... supuri-aam-r kichhu nam na-jana gachh o... duto jomir ekprante chhilo ghono bansh-bon r tar pechhone birat Alakh Kakuder pukur... jekhane amra sntare namle uthte chaitam na... mere othano hoto... Khalibarir onyo prante chhilo sodor rasta... amader barita rastar dharei chhilo... to sei kul gachh tay prochur kul ashto... borora bolten "Saraswati pujor aage kul motei khabina.. porikkhay fail korbi...", ami kintu onek bar kul kheyecchilam porikkha korar jonyo je porikkhay fail kori kina... (onekbar lobh-bosoto o kheyechhi) kintu koi fail to korini... fail korte bhoy petam ekta karonei... bondhura uporer class e uthe jabe r ami theke jabo... se ki lojja! 
                   Khalibari sobcheye priyo hoye jeto poush sonkrantir somoy... sonkrantir aager din "mera-meri" kortam ei Khalibari tei... din ponero kuri dhore dadader dol... ami ar Denis amra "nera" kat te jetam kaste haate mathe... bojhai kore ene rakhtam Khalibaritei... jome jome sonkrantir thik ager din porjonto tila hoye jeto... "mera-merir" ghor banatam sobai mile.. kathamo ta thakto "chunga"r bansher...(dolu bansh)... bansh gulo ke sontorpone asto rekheditam... tar karon ektu porei bolchhi... sei mera-merir ghore picnic korteam kintu sara rat thakar permit shsudhu dadaderi chhilo... koek bochhor por oboshyo onek biplob kore sei odhikar ami kere nite perechhilam... tobe prothom prothom... thom thome kado kado obhimani chehara niye nirobe ghore fire jete hoto... rat 10/11 tar dike... sei obhimaner kodor keu kortona.. korlei je bipod..! Porer din bhor bela jed niye amii sobar aage uthtam,... 4te 4.30 ter dike... poush masher kon kone shiter bhore jhap ditam Alakh Kakuder pukure... chan kore firle maa notun kapor poriye diye mukhe tiler naru dito... tarpor "mera-merir" ghore amra agun lagatam... asto bansh thakar jonyo.. Deepavalir bomb er moto aoaz hoto r tatei chhilo amader bhari moja... tobe aste aste jokhon agun nibhe ashto... mon tao temon bhari hote suru korto... abar arekta bochhor...!
                    Bola hoyni.. je Ei khalibarike sadar rasta theke alada  kore rekhechhilo ekta nala... "drain" noy... drain manei nongra... amar Kakimoni Silchar shohorer chhilen bole otake "drain" bolten... tate amader dukkho hoto... ota nungra chhilona motei... porishkar jol chhilo... amer dine jore haoa cholle aam porto... ar amra jhapiye portam sei nalay...  abar school theke firei ami chhip niye e i nalar dharei bostam... bose thaktam sara bikel jotokkhon na sondhye hoye aschhe... r kichhui dekha jachchhena...  prothom prothom khub kosto petam... boroder chhipe kemon bhalo bhalo prochur machh uthchhe kintu amar tate kichhui asena je!! Maake giye nalish kortam.. "amar chhipe keno machh othena?? keno?? Himangshu kakur chhipe to machh utchhe to uthchhei.. Koi.. Shingi...Punthi..!! Amar keno othena maa....o....maaa???" .. tokhon bujhtam na je maar ete kichhui koroniyo chhilona... na tobe chhilo... maa shudhu bolto... "dhorjyo rakhte hoy...machh dhorte gele...dhorjyo na rakhle hoyna re..." tai dhorjyo rakha shikhechhilam...aar ei bodobhyesh konodin chharte parini... kichhudin por fol na mane machh ashte suru korlo... prochur machh uth te suru korlo... amader parar ostad Samar Kaku jokhon bollen... "Kankan.. amar sathe amader pukure machh dhorbi? Bikele asis to...." se ki ananda... Samar kaku dakchhe amake machh dhorar jonye.... kothay bikel... school theke firei chhutlam... machh dhorlam... onar motlob chhilo machhe... r amar dhorar anande....amar mone achhe... amar dadu jokhon sesh niswash tyag koren... ami tokhon chhip haate pukurei chhilam... chhip ta tulechhi matro.. ekta punthi machh jhule achhe.. emon somoy maa'r arto kanna sune chhip fele chhute giyechhilam... Dadu amar khub priyo chhilen ar amio unar... Dadur kule bose Ramayan... Mahabharat... koto sunechhi...ajo mone achhe... amar Kukurer proti bhoy ta ektu baje bhabei beshi chhilo... kintu Dadur sathe berole... dadu thengiye taariye diten kukur, ei karone dadu aro beshi priyo chhilen... uni cholegelen... unar haate kore gorha Kather Dotola baritao ekhon r nei.. rupantorito holo ekta concrete er toiri ulto kore rakha biroktikor bakse...sedin thekei amar r bari nei... ! Nalata sukiye gelo... tarpor rup nilo municipalityr "Drain" er... Khalibari o ekhon concrete-bakso-dhaka... tarsathe somadhisto holo amader chhotobela chirotore... ekhonkar bachchha guloke dekhle kosto hoy... eder kachhe dhorjyo korte shekhar kono upay nei... sei nala je r nei... chhip o nei... tai to era "shortcut to success" e biswashi hoye uthchhe... higher secondaryr por jara joint pelo... tara engineering r bakira B.A/B.Sc kore science chherediye MBA... chakri pete hobe.. tara tari.. chakr chakri chakri....kore pagol hoye gelo! dhorjyo rakhle je chakri paoa jayna.. boyesh beriye jay... tai r ajker dine maa-ra dhorjyo rakhte shekhay na... ! 
               
               Kintu... kintu...amio je pagol hoye jachchhi... amaro je kothao kono ek patay onko bhul hoyegelo...  r je milchhei na... ar jeno milbei na... konodin...!

Besant Beach Chennai

  

A Little Clarification to All...

by Steve Wilson

***actual date forgotten


..This is not for you all... this is not for the ones who thought I belong to the "we"... this is for me... For the existence of that "I" and his procedures...! 

To Dear Atanu & all,

   

           Don't think I flow and I don't have the controll... At each and every step... each and every movement that I made... each and every decision... and the most pathetic fact is that in each and every emotions...I knew and I know... what I was and am doing... at each point it was clear like water..even more than that... I knew what is following for what... the causality... and I could and I can break the flow... I had done many times...and that was also the flow! But this nature had made me even more pathetic... !! And hence if I flow away... then don't think the current was powerful... it was me who has allowed...permitted...the current to let me flow away... and even more... when I was and am flowing... I know very very very well that at any point I can reject the current... But its again my decision I am letting it to carry me on... If you think what you should think then... I have no problem... no problem at all... as I never had any! I know you are mistaken... and you will be always mistaken... I always searched for a "way in" so that I can make myself busy in searching for the "way out"... yes this is rediculous... but again theres nothing meaningful... this is my way... and I am playing well with me... this doesn't give me pleasure... but it works... yes I am the maker and the breaker of my rules... and I will break it pathetically whenever I need to let me pass the way... as this "way" is important to me... don't shape me... I don't have any..really! 

         The summary is clear... that it will be always unclear to you all... thats it and thats all... I don't belong... I belong no where... Every individual is different... and every one is pathetically lonely... no one no one gonna help no one... this is true... in whatever way you pretend that you have some rules and you belong somwhere... I believe... I have to mislead myself.. cheat my self... I know... there are two persons within me even more than that... and they quarrel... but seriously speaking... I have got controll over them over emotions too... such a scoundrell I am ! I have chosen to be flowed and I will... "aay khelbi sukh-dukkher khela".. yes seriously I know its a "khela" not dialogues... this is true.. I can feel its a game... and I keep myself busy..though cannot stop the conversations between me and the bustard me...! Still... fine... it works and its working... I have suffered and I will... but its a new way... and its fine... so lets move on with this experiment.... 

       You all are fine with yourselves... fine... play your cards... after all you have to cheat yourselves...and have to win over you... never try to belong... this belonging doesn't exist believe me.. it doesn't !

       Lastly... this piece of shit is for me... and the all "me"...!

Thank you

...paataal

Painting by: Hugo Simberg


***actual date Saturday, August 14, 2010

pari diyechhilam swadhin dana mele...songe chhilo kothin kichhu sopno...biswash chhilo ispat-danay...ora chhilo meghe meghe ure berano...bosonter sowdagor...amra chhilam kalo pataler alor bhorosha... prithibi hotat bodle gelo...tora kothay achhis bhai...danay je morcha lagchhe...tobu urbo...obhyesei urbo...urar smriti danar morcha chhoriye porbe oder podo-dhuloy...ottohasir bajar eriye patalei thai nebo...jodi prithibita hoy rongin megher prangon...ay patal ajo tokei alingon...

...Sokal Bodhu

    Sketch by Atanu Nath

***actual date Sunday, August 8, 2010

Hajar bochhor por bhor namchhe abar
juger ghumta soriye
kuashar chador dhaka
sokal bodhu, tomay pelam abar...

peyara patar faake...kathal gachher arale...
haat chhute giyechhilo kobe...

taal sarir faake faake
kure ghorer astanay...
raater sthobirota bhenge diye
chhutchhe Saraighat...

tumi chamak diyechho mrito chite...

kobe theke pipasito tomar
poth khuje...morichikay pothohara ami...
dudondo ashroy dao...
abar hariye jaoar aage...
dufuta shishire bhejao...

chole jete hobe...tai chhue jao...
matal kore dao...
buk bhora sesh alingone..

...Sokal Esechhilo...

***actual date Friday, August 6, 2010

...Chennai jachchhi...pothe ekdin Kolkatay thakbo...Saraighat Express rater stobdhota bhenge diye gor gor chhute cholechhe...Kokhon bhor holo ter e pelam na...tobe janalar ghum bhangiyechhi ami powne pachta hobe...!

Chokh melei ekta chhobi dekhlam...khubi chena chena laglo...kintu thik kobe jani sesh dekhechhilam mone mone thahor korte parlam na ! Chhobitato mugdho kore deoar moto susthota chhilo...sei susthota je "school khule gechhe bari giye porte hobe..." er taronay kothay jani paliyechhe haf chhere...ar dekha deyni...kintu sei school khule jaoa...ar porte bosa tobu chharlo na pichhu...sudhu school theke college theke university hoyegechhe matro...ji hok biroktikor se prosonge atke thakte chaina apatoto...! sei chhobiatr susthota borobelayo amake onek pagol korechhe chhutiyechhe...matal korechhe...sesh mesh lupto hote hote...ei ajker sokale dekha diyechhilo nimesher jonyo...oprostut korediyechhilo hotat kore samne ese..othocho hoytoba kichhui na...he sotyi kichhui na ekhon... koekta chhoto chhoto matir jhuprir moto ghor...bichulir chhani deoa...tal gachh sari sari...r sobaike dheke diye kuashar nil obogunthon...khoniker jonyo mone hoyechhilo hotat kore bhorer alo jole othay polli bodhu kuashar ghumta pore niyechhe... thik kotokkhon chokher pata poreni mone nei... egote thaklo Saraighat ar ami janlayi bose roilam... ki jeno bhabte laglam...mone nei...sei bhabnar ekhon kono mulyo o obosyo nei karo kachhe...amar kachheo !
Surjo sobe digontoke tar sporshok korechhe matro...rail line er dharer ghas tokhono shishire snato...holde hoye uthlo...mone pore kobitay khujtam ghaseder holde hoye jaoa...amar kolpona chhilo...r biswash o...amader ekhane kokhono ghasera holde hoyna...susdhu Europe er kono ek grame tara emon sundor hoy godhulite....ar kono Ana ar Esabel er shoishob e hoy omon rongin...banglar se soubhagyer odhikar nei...kintu holde holo ora...sotej hoye ora dulte laglo traain er diye jaoa haoay...pore thaklo ora onek dure pechhone...oderke chhariye chole jete laglam...egiye...akkhep tobu royegelo...chhelebelar oi atanu ke r dekhano holona ei chhobi...e jonme to holona...ar jonmantore to biswash nei...tai r konodini holona...!! bhabte bhabte egochchhi...ar train tokhoni dhuklo...aste aste goriye goriye..."Khana Junction"...aste aste periyeo gelam... station ta thik charar somoy...odure chokhe prlo...ekta purono prityakto Railgarita...pray mish te cholechhe prokritir sathe... ghash jongol gaye mekhe sesh din gunchhe ostitwer...mon ta prochondo bhari hoye gelo...na na Railgarir dukkhe noy...! mone holo ish... Baba jodi niye ashto amay ei gram tay ontoto ek-doshok age...bondhura mile dera banatam...saradin ei railgaritei hoytoba kat to amader...khushir kono onto thaktona...karon amar mone achhe... jokhon amader kather dotola barita chhilo...tokhon kar dine jokhon ekta Aearoplane ure jeto akash diye...chhute beriye Khalibarite dariye akasher dike cheye mone mone Ishwar ke daktam..."Thakur ekkhuni plane ta khose poruk ei khalibarite...koto na ki thakbe bhetore...sobai mile koto khelbo or bhetore..ami Pilot hobo...thakur..." ... tokhon jantam na...or bhetore sotyikarer manus jay...khoshe porle ora Jiboner khata thekeo khoshe porbe...!! tobe etosob jeneo to kichu holona...na Bus driver...na Train Driver...na Pilot kono sopnoi to sotyi korte parlam na... Mone achhe Bus Driver hoar sopnotai tobe probol chhilo....ar akashe orar sopno to badh bhengechhe... bolte lojja pay kintu eta sotyi je...aj o ami prayi sopno dekhi lafiye lafiye ure berachchhi...akashe...dalaner opor diye...

Seshmesh train tar gotite egote thaklo...surjo prokhorotor hoye gelo...ar amio uthegelam Upper Berth e...diner surje amar je biswad jonmechhe ta je ar katate parlami na...janina kobe parbo....jiboner onektai to cholegelo...Saraighat Express er moto...

...a tribute to "silent invocation"...

***actual date Tuesday, December 1, 2009


Shiter bikel... pechhoner mather upor kuashay atke achhe dhoa...megher moton... barir simanay dariye achhe Apu ar Durga... poshchhim banglar noy... amar purbo banglar bikel... surjo sobe dublo adhar aseni ekhono... ajke bajar bar, “danadar” niye firbe baba adhar namlei... durer chhaya murtira utsaho jogachchhe oder..ghore na ferar... ma tulsi tolay dip jaliye ghore firlen... odure nodir pare keu anmone basi bajiyei cholechhe... dukkher songsare upolokkher moto jemon hotat hotat chole ase sukh.. ekanto apon ar sorol sotyikarer sukh... thik temon tai basir sur... Apu-Durgake niye chole gechhe nodir dheuer tale duliye... sei sur jeno bhasha jane dheuer... bhasa jane, je bhashay pakhira jhake cholar montro chhoray... je bhasa sune kuashay jome thaka dhoa aste aste cholte suru korlo nodir dikei... oder chokh onek durer chhaya murtir lanthoner aloy majhe modhyei jholse uthchhe... shishirer pododdhoni... ar basir halka sur... aar onek durer mosjide ajaner tan chhara ar kichhu nei...
Adhar namchhe ebar... kkhin hoye aschhe basir sur... “somoy” ektu darabe... adhar ghonabar age oderke kichhu bolar chhilo...

***actual date Friday, July 24, 2009

onek rat lanthoner aloy

jhorechhe him...
emon onek rat likhechhi dukkho-sukh
majh rater kachhe bondhok achhe

hazar smritir posora...

aro onek rat achhe hoytoba baki
sakkhi thakbe tara bhalobasar

beche thakar...

ar proti muhurte more jabar

amar ek ekta somadhir pashe bose likhechhi bigoto jiboni

bristir jole muchhe gechhe kali

bismritir lanchhonay,

lukiye achhe ora...

sob rat eki bhabe chup kore sunegechhe

orthoheen bilap,

kotha boleni...

karon tara janto

kichhui hoyna...asole kichchhui hoyna !

Solaris, A Hope For Sisyphus

***actual date Saturday, October 17, 2009

In the rush of infinite beings...all were lonely n they still are...we were sailing together rushing somewhere...which doesn't exist i knew..lots were supremely hopeful and a few were confused! I was sailing because i was a coward and i was afraid of sinking..though i knew..i have to...! Then the cloud of meaninglessness prevailed..i was too afraid..honestly speaking! I decided to sink by my own before i loose myself in slow and unkown decay of time! I was afraid too much..my boat was almost broken! Then suddenly i saw the "solaris"...faint...appearence growing stronger...i rushed towards it becuse i wanted to remove the "sisyphus" from me at least virtualy...solaris hugged me n promissed me.."i'll help u forget that u are the sisyphus till u sink 4ever...", i was happy...solaris can be virtual but i need it to stay away from sisyphus to stay away from my hell...

Then what if "solaris" also rejects me...?

"But if it’s all for nothing
All the road running's been in vain"

Jibon Hoytoba...

***actual date Wednesday, July 8, 2009

jibon mane kichhu muhurto ar tader rong
jukti tokko ar gopper agune sob pure jay
tai bhese jete hoy muhurter borshay
keu janena ar kobe jhorbe akash

jibon mane topto morupoth
morichikakei bhalobaste hoy tai...

nistobdho shiter rat shishirer bhasay
kichhui bolena !
jhijhira jiboner taronay gan gay
taro kono mane hoyna...
projapotir pakhay nei lukiye kono rohosyo...
sob bhul sob bhul...
hariye jete hoy tai muhurter bonyay..
ke jane se ban ar asbe kina !

jibon mane roj ekta notun bhul...
ekta notun pap...
ekta asha ar asha-bhongo

!jibon mane ei kobita
jar kono songa hoyna
amar likhe jaoa
tomar pore jaoa
aar
sesh mesh bhule jaoa...

ar kichhui na... sotyi ar kichhui na...

Palataker Sopno...

***actual date Friday, July 3, 2009

tomar kachhe kuashay dhaka bikel chhilo
jemon ta amader dhankheter mathay bhasto
chhute esechhilam dur theke dekhe
kotokal kuasha dekhini je
poshchhim akasher abir chhilo chhorano
chhilo kichhu nil dhoar amej

athalo hazar sondhyar bish amar dhomoni jure boichhe...
tobu chhotto chhoto sopne ki odhikar thakte parena amar?
thakte parena emontai to dharona pusechhi chirokal!

chirokal ramdhonu khujechhi
haschhilo ora, ora ajo haschhe
rag chhilo,sesh mesh rag o sesh hoye giyechhilo!
sudhu klanti ar obosad tuku baki chhilo

bhebechhilam,
"pakhir neerer moto chokh"
ekta birat sorojontro, ekta mithya !
tobu khujechhi nirobe,
"chhotto chhade ekanto nijer chad"
ei sopne odhikar chhilona amar
tobu oboidho ei chahida pusechhilam nirobe!

somosto jotilota niye takiechhilam tomar dike,
tumi sei ghasfuler motoi sorol...
chhotto chhotto sopne bhora sei "kashbon"
onodhikar lobh chhilo sei kashbone
jekhane chirokal saap dhuke gechhe

mohashunye ghure beranor somoy
prithibi theke tobu mukh ferate parini!
sobuj jege uth to bhorer tondray...
sob projapotir palok pure jachchhilo aste aste...
nijeke nijei akre dhore rekhechhilam!

ora bolto, ora ekhonow bole...
"bastob ke tui chinte parlina sala"
sotyi chinte parlam na...
kintu "solaris' e ghor gorar odhikaro ki nei amar?
karo sopno to dhar neini ami !

tomate sei "solaris" chhilo...
orthohinotar majheo "orther" songa peyechhilam
onodhikar kichhu chhotto sopno dekhefelechhilam !
segulo onodhikari chhilo...
nisiddho chhilo amar jonye...

amar jonye rakha chhilo,
faka dhu dhu math, dhuloy dhaka mrito sohor,
helogen r biroktikor alo,
footpath'r nongra gondho
ar topto dupure pure jaoa cigarette'r chhai... !

egulo jabar chhilona konodini !

tobu tomate dekhechhilam,
dingi badha ghat
sei "kathsetu" periye jaoa ghola joler dheu,
sheola pora ghater ghum ghum chokh
ar sustho akasher neel astoron !

amake jigges korona,
"kon desh theke esechho tumi?"
hazar bochhorer obhiggota, cha er table e bujhate parbona!
amio bujhe uth te parini to...

ami bhule thakte chai set sete diner
fekase nirobota !
bhule thakte chai sada-kalo maron poth
bhule thakte chai mrityugondho !

amake sudhu jorie dhoro e jatray...
amake ghumote dao khanik ta..
kichhu bolona..
kono proshno korona !
boddo klanto lagchhe, ektu ashroy dao buke !

Kashfuler Proti

***actual date  Tuesday, June 16, 2009

dulchhi ami dulchhi muhurter sathe

muhurter alto ador

muhurter seshei kaade

konodin aghat dite parini

somikoron mene tai ora amar dikei ase

ase sokal... ase bikel

kokhone biswade... kokhono bhalobese

kokhono prithibi tene nichchhe

kokhono akaser dike chhure dichchhe....

dolnar moto muhurte bhore gechhe jibon....

somoy dite parini konodin sopnoder,

tai oder eto raag

amar chokhe toiri hochchhe obiroto

bhangchhe muhurte amari chokhe...

kokhono jomchhe megh

kokhono jhorchhe bristi...

bhijie diye jachchhe dukkho-obosad...

dulchhi ami dulchhi sara rat

palok purchhe jotner projapotir

ora chhonnochhara urchhe sara akash

bhanga gora sesh hole pore

dekhe jeo ekbar...

kashful buke ami... tobuo thakbo beche !

Every man is Sisyphus...

***actual date Friday, June 12, 2009


Every man is Sisyphus... some are virtually not ! still one should not forget this fact, never...the day you started to dream that rolling the stone is over... you'll here the laughter... coming from everywhere.. everywhere around you...laughing at you..
everyday I grow I feel that life is nothing but counting the days by which u grow older... yes counting the coffee spoons... counting the nights u try to sleep... counting the morning u know is nothing new... still man forgets the self... man loves... and man tries to live... there is time when man feels each bird has some message for him... every bit of the earth smells like it never does... man started to fall under gravity and sticks to the soil by which he is made of... all his life.. now and then... he remembers he forgets... the play proceeds and sometimes stops like a stagnating forgotten falls... yet the rain comes and gives life to it... man is so fool... and so man lives on... man is so fool so he loves... and man is so helpless that sometimes he can't even help him... I think of the man who died in Antarctica... was his death better or the death of a man like me... who will probably end his breath in his last cottage... or in the streets... I think and I can't decide... the reason I don't know... and may be the curiosity has died or rather dried...

***actual date Thursday, June 11, 2009

abchha mone porchhe ekta bismrito chhotto istison,

thote cigarette, kiser jani opekkhay,

cement r chair uttopto, chamray lagchhe...

ghaame bheja mukh ghurchhe,

purchhe ektar por ekta cigarette

osustho nil dhoar sathe urchhe biswash...

onishchoyotar megh jomchhe aste aste...

suorer moto kichhu lok taanchhe mal pottor...

ghormakto gondhe thasa gota chottor!

onekdin por flyover er tolay abar sei durgondho...

hate abar purchhe Gold Flake

bus stop e ghamer somudro ar biroktikor sei Helogen

footpath e sue thaka suorer chhanara

oboidho chuloy purchhe fagun... !

ami ar parchhina,

ami mukti chai...

ektu thanda haoa chai...

ami palate chai...

ami bachte chai... bhalobaste chai....!

***actual date Friday, May 29, 2009

This particular poem is for you... dedicated to you...

ei morute tomar hasi chhara aar kichhui jhorena...
muhurter jonye mone pore jay
am pata beye jhore pora jol
amader kather janalay haat baralei,
chhoa jeto borshar madokota...

majhe majhe tomar haasi chhoriye diye jay
mejhe jure sei ghas ful...
sue thaki oder upor...
boye jay akash jure projapotir megh...

ei koyek muhurtoi to bristi jhore amar deshe...

***actual date Thursday, May 14, 2009

shohor aj saradin snan korechhe
bhul kore kichhu fur fure haoa
chole esechhe amar janalay...

uttejito pakhider kolorobe bhore gechhe
sara chottor ta...
gachhe notun pata asbe...
puraton tai mele diyechhe bahupas...
amar kachhe bristi ar kichhui na..
hotat kore tapmatrar hrash..

matir gondho kothao ekta kobe peyechhilam...

bristite bhije gele janalar kach..
baire jolchhobi dekhtam..
tiner chaler shobde ghum peye jeto..

kagojer onekgulo nouko bhasiyechhilam..
chole jachchhe "katakhal" beye...
ora porbe giye "Borak" e...
saribadha jhapsa onek nouko...

ghola "katakhal" tor gayei matir gondho chhilo..
"hugli" sob dhue muchhe niye gechhe...

jirno kather setu, tar pashe bash bon...
tulo ure aschhe khanikta dur theke...
tarpor i chole gechhe "doodhpur" er rasta

kagojer noukogulo borsay bhije jachchhe...

sebar ban esechhilo..
chhuye dekhechhilam..

tarpor aste aste noukogulo dube gelo !
setu tao bhenge gechhe...
oder bari bikri hoye gechhe..

amar aar "doodhpur" jaoa holona... !

chole jabar projonmo...

***actual date Thursday, April 23, 2009

আমাদের  প্রজন্ম চলে যাবার প্রজন্ম... 
আজ আমি চলে যাচ্ছি ...কাল তোকেও চলে যেতে হবে .. 
যারা বিদায় জানাতে এসেছিল 
ওদেরও তাড়া আছে 
আবেগের শুধু তাড়া নেই .. তাই সে অপ্রস্তুত  ! 
তাই কালবোশেখির বড্ড অভাব ... 

আমাদের প্রজন্ম কেটে যাচ্ছে ইষ্টিশন  থেকে ইষ্টিশনে .. 
...অন্য কোথাও ভেন্টিলেটর  বেয়ে জল নামছে ঘরে .. 
হিমাংশু কাকুর গাছে কূল এসেছে কিনা .. 
পার্থ sir এর কূল গাছটায়  ঢিল ছুঁড়েছে কেউ ? 
কে খবর রাখে ..! 
ঢিল ছুঁড়ার দোল চলে গেছে  ... 
গতকাল ই তো খবর পেলাম  ! 

গত প্রজন্ম ছিল কারো দাঁড়িয়ে থাকার .. 
কারো ফিরে আসার ... 

আমাদের প্রজন্মে অপেক্ষা নিষিদ্ধ .. 
বিদায়ের পর সেও চলে যাচ্ছে অন্য ইষ্টিশনে ... 
আর যে চলে গেল এইমাত্র .. 
সে ফিরে তাকায়নি একবারও ...চলে যাবার সময় .. ! 

শেওলা জমছে সে কোন দিঘির ঘাটে ..? 
কোথায় বিচুলি চাঁপানো  স্বর্গ আমার ..? 
 পৌষ  তুমি কোথায় ? 
হেলোজেন আলোয় সব চেহারাই এক দেখায় ...! 

এই প্রজন্মে সারা পৃথিবী জুড়ে সিঁড়ি ... 
সিঁড়ি বেয়ে উঠছে কেউ... নামছে কেউ.. 
অনবরত টিকিট বিকরি হচ্ছে .. 
হাজার হাজার রেলগাড়ি পাক খাচ্ছে পৃথিবীর .. 
আমার স্বপ্নেও তাই 
কাশ বনে সাঁপ  ঢুকে যায় প্রায়ই .. 

একদিন কথাও কোনো এক ইষ্টিশনে  
তোকে কি কথা দিয়েছিলাম ... মনে নেই .. 
কে কখন কাকে কি কথা দিয়েছিল .. 
কারো মনে নেই .. এ প্রজন্মের মনে থাকেনা ! 

অজস্র ঘটনা রেল লাইনে চাঁপা পড়ে  গেছে ... 
হাজার গল্প মুছে গেছে এক্কেবারে .. 
তারা মাঝে মধ্যে ফিস ফিস  করে কানে ... 
সব সিঁড়ি.. ইস্টিশন রেলগাড়ি ... চিত্কার করে উঠে তখন .. 
"চুপ কর ...চুপ কর ... চুপ কর .." 

আর আমার মাথার ভেতর রেলগাড়ি শিরি দিয়ে বলে ... 

"নেমে পড়ুন .. ইষ্টিশন  এসেগেছে আপনার .." 

amader projonmo chole jabar projonmo...
aj ami chole jachchhi... kal tokeo chole jete hobe..
jara biday janate esechhilo
oder o tada achhe..
abeger sudhu tada nei.. tai se oprostut !
tai kalboshekhir boddo obhab...

amader projonmo kete jachchhe istison theke istisone..
...onyo kothao ventilator beye jol namchhe ghore..
himangshu kakur gachhe kul esechhe kina..
partha sir er kul gachhtay dhil chhurechhe keu?
ke khobor rakhe...!
dhil chhurar dol chole gechhe...
goto kal i to khobor pelam !

goto projonmo chhilo karo dariye thakar..
karo fire asar...

amader projonme opekkha nishiddho..
bidayer por seo chole jachchhe anyo istisone...
aar je chole gelo ei matro..
se fire takay ni ekbaro... chole jabar somoy.. !

sheola jomchhe se kon dighir ghate..?
kothay bichhuli chapano sworgo amar..?
poush tumi kothay?
halogen aloy sob cheharai ek dekhay...!

ei projonme sara prithibi jure sidi...
siri beye uthchhe keu.. namchhe keu..
onoboroto tikit bikri hochchhe..
hazar hazar relgari pak khachchhe prithibir..
amar swopneo tai..
kash bone sap dhuke jay prayi..

ekdin kothao kono ek istisone
toke ki kotha diyechhilam... mone nei..
ke kokhon kake ki kotha diyechhilo..
karo mone nei.. e projonmer mone thakena!

ojosro ghotona rail line e chapa pore gechhe...
hazar golpo muchhe gechhe ekkebare..
tara majhe modhye fis fis kore kane...
sob sidi.. istison rel gari... chitkar kore uthe tokhon..
"chup kor... chup kor... chup kor.."

aar amar mathar bhetor relgari siri diye bole...
"neme podun.. istison esegechhe apnar.." 

***Ei kobita ta amar mone esechhile...sedin rate jedin Diptadip amar cycle er career e bosechhilo... Karunamoyee jachchhilam...tar porer dini Diptadip Kolkata chhere chole jabe Delhi...chakri peyechhe kono ekta animation company te... kobitata ami likhini..kobitata amar kachhe esechhilo...ami sudhu kolom chaliyechhilam karon se amake chepe dhorechhilo...amar kachhe na lekha chhara kono upay chhilona...

"asa jaoar pather dhare..."

***actual date Tuesday, April 14, 2009

 

My Life As a Dog

***actual date Tuesday, April 7, 2009

"My Life As a Dog"... I've watched the movie yesterday... in the midnight.... I just can't explain how beautiful it was... it was beautiful in its own way... some one decent and civilized being of our society may find too much odour and indecency in it... I don't care... and they din't care at all!! its beautiful the way it is.. irrespective of any special social structure... I think I should stop... here... if u cannot feel it... u should never try to... !! Here we kill lots of Ingemar.. and have been murdering them inside... from our innocent days... the fact is that the people of our society can be decent and civilized but please... we should never say that we were innocent or we are... !!! we were never....

  

***actual date Tuesday, April 7, 2009

"Kashbon... near our Hostel..."

tumi bar bar esecho jibon niye..
sudhu amake paroni bhore dite jobone..
ami to sei chiro piapasito royechhi
sei pipasito jar jole atonko..
ekta ochena bhoy boye berachchhi kobe theke...

tumi chhile kashful hate bosonto..
tumi chhile ekmath kuasha...
tobu mise jete parini tomate...
tumi prothom bristir moto
jhore porechho kotobar !
kiser bhoye bhije jete diyni nijeke..
sotyi bolchhi trisna chhilo...
dekho..
ajo sei dhu dhu morui achhi...
tumi ban hoye badh bhenege aste parte !

jodi somoy hoy..o arekbar eso..
amar sob bhul kore diye jao
shoroter bhor aar bosonter bikel niye eso chokhe...
ami dekhte chai kothay
prithibir simana...
chirokal to dure chhilam..
onek dure chhilam simana theke !
hat dhore tene jore niye jao...
amar sob jukti-tokko ar goppo bhasiye dao..
ek ajla jol niye aso...
amake nosto kore dao..
ami to tao parini !

ebar jodi mise jete pari tomate..

Onek Onek Aage...

***actual date Saturday, March 28, 2009



video will be posted soon 

what do the "words" mean....

***actual date Monday, March 9, 2009

I don't know.. what people mean by the word "nostalgic"... I often get confused with the disease that I'm suffering from... being "nostalgic"... the hours of the day I stay awake..and the hours that I pass.. sleeping...I think If I could be that "nostalgic" by which people mean something usualy...to happen to be in an occassion of special kind...I wish I could be that by which they mean it... I dream flying.. not so high over the peddy fields.. waving myhands.. spread softly..in the air.. the childrens never stare at me... I almost pass by un-noticed...like an ordinary event of the day... pluckin gvegitables in the garden... I dream... I'm lost in a city... by which still an un-noticed village exists... where people yet have their "homes"...the word by which once upon a time they used to mean somthing... ! I...dream...so strange that still I dream... the thing I do before lossing completely...the kite from my little loose grips... thats what people still could do for a while..for a moment... quiting the forever walk on the "streets"...surrounded by the up-side-down boxes... by which we never meant anything !

Ekta sopno...

***actual date Thursday, March 5, 2009

Ei matro odbhut ekta sopno dekhlam, na sopno na golpo dekhlam… je golpe na chaite o ami ekjon ochchhedyo ongo hoye gelam… ekjon dorshok ekjon shrota… ekjon choritro o… ! ei golpe ekjon bondhuo peyechhilam… takeo hario felechhi.. tai to sopno… tar chehara ekdom mone nei… karo cheharai mone nei ! bolte gele bhabben golpo bolchhi… tai to bole dilam golpoi dekhechhi…!

“desh” e ekta mail pathiyechhilam… tar reply eseschhe, pora ekhono hoyni, beriyechhi kolkatar kono ek ochena rastay Cyber Café’r khoje, reply je esechhe… seta janlam ki kore… e prosno korben na… sopne emon udbhot swadhinota thake… ! Cycle niye edik odik chute berachchhi… hotat samne dekhlam odbhut ekta “kamaner” moto gaari… chalok bolchhe “uriye debo”… bheba cheka kheye gelam… hotat dujon traffic police pakrao korlo amake… besh rosiye khocha diye bollo…” koto niyechhilo cycle ta?” , bollam.. “nijer takay kinechhi !”… odbhut ekta ohonkarer gondho pelam nijer kothay… tar karon ta nijer mone thahor korar chesta korlam… emon somoy ekjon arekjon ke jiggesh korlo, “koto nibi?”, anyojon bllo, “emni te teppano taka, tin takai nebo bhachhi…!” aschorjo kintu ami hoyni… ! tokhon besh swabhabik hoyegechhi… thatta kore oderke bollam… “oisob boro gaari der atok korar jonyo o to keu dorkar.. amrai keno sudhu shoshito hobo !” haslo ora.. jaihok… kichhuta sosti elo mone… tokhon “desh”er mail bheshe gechhe haoay kothao… bollam “cholun cha khaoa jak…”, khub swabhabik bhabe amar bondhur motoi eksathe dujone chollam amra… amake se niye gelo se ekta ghore… he dokane na ghore… boslam… ekjon prouro mohila aar “gota tinek” amar motoi boyeser meye… sundori jodio na… bichchhiri bolle onyay hote pare… aami police ke bollam… “ki nei kow chain” …ekta meye… bole uthlo, “ei bhasha to assam e chole… ei sob bhasha thekei bangle esechhe… onek diner jatray…”, ami atke bollam..”eta Sylhet r bhasha… bollo, “jani”… meyetar somosto dehe daridryo aar obohela..oshikkhar chhap chhilo… kintu aste aste ami onubhob korte laglam.. ekjon atmomorjada somponno byektitwo tar modhye ache kothao… tarpor dhire dhire se golper onek ta ongshoi niye nite laglo… abchha ondhokar sei ghor… tader eksathe mile mishe orthohin kothabarta ek odbhut bishwer sristi korechhilo… jake ami khub kachh theke age ami dekhini… ! aste aste onubhob korlam… polic ti oi poribarer ekjon ontonto ghonisto ekjon…. Sopner bhetor sopner moto jeno sobkichhu cholte laglo… sotosphurto… tarpor… abar “assam” kothar ullekh shune swabhabikotay fire elam… jigges korlam, “apni kokhono chakri-sutre assam gechhen?”, police ti bollo, “he ekbar giyechhilam… tobe jaygatar nam mone porchhena ekhon aar..”, “sekhankar bhasha bangle na osomiya chhilo?” ami bolllam…. Abar bolte laglam…” amader okhane… ekta birat mati banglar… andolon kore sohid hoye bangle enechhilam amra… “, sei meyeta abar bollo…”ta to sudhu sorkari kaaje… aar kothao…”, oke atkei bollam…”keno ami to bangle madhyomei porechhi… sudhu V-VI-VII, osomiya bhashar ekta subject chhilo… tate apotti ta kothay…”, jodio mone mone jantam… banglar ki mulyo baaki ache amar priyo borak uptyokay… ! Police ti bollo, “tomar dadu nischoy sottorer doshoke esechhen Bangladesh chhere…”, bollam… “na… ponchaser doshoke… baba naki V/Vi e porto tokhon…”… tarpor aste aste… ami sudhui dorshok hoye theke gelam… baki golpo tar motoi swabhabik cholte laglo… ami sudhu dekhte suru korlam… mon dekhte suru korlam… mayer mukher osphuto shantir chhap…”boro meyetar jonyo er cheye bhalo bor aar I hobe… ajker dine police r chakri bhabai jayna… eder mon Jodi milechhe.. amar apotti thakbe keno…” shunte thaklam eisob.. somosto jogoter arale… ami lokkhyo korechhi, khub arthik bhabe uchchho aar nichu srenir modhye ekta jiniser mil ache… prem temer dik diye era liberal I hoy sadharonoto…. Sob jhut-jhamela modhyobitto poribar gulotei dekha jay… jaihok…. Esob kichhu cholchhilo… sundor… sopno.. tobe golpe ekta lokano dukkho o chhilo… amar chokh erate pareni… sei meyetar protita kothay… bhongite… ami dekhechhilam… prem.. tar boro boner premiker proti… se dhurto chhilona.. tai prokash konodin hoytoba korbeo na… kintu ami to dekhte pari.. tai akash take bhari mone hote laglo… ei dukkho… akasher megh… aro o ondhokar hoye otha ghortar… golpoke niye giyechhilo opurno sompurnotar dike…

Sei faka faka prithibike buke niye amra abar sedin hariye giyechhilam… kolkatar aro o kono ek ojana rastey… !

***actual date Tuesday, March 3, 2009

onek din por Ana ke dekhlam, tarpor onek din por abar mone holo, "kothay jachchhi amra?" biseshoto.. kothay jachchhi ami ! Frankestein ki chhilo amar jonyo, ta hoytoba kauke bujhate parbona, boka sajar boyes ba sahos hoytoba nei ar amar ! bokami theke budhdhimaner store ashte pahar dingote hoyni amake, hoyechhe sudhu paharer onek guhar pash kete chole jete ! sei sob guhay je Frankestein thakte parto, ta ami bolte chaina !kintu se sob guhar bhetor e dekhe Frankestein ke hariye felar bhoy hoytoba chhilo ! sotyo jai hok na keno, sotyoi ki sob? jodi tai hoy, tahole Anar mulyo amar kachhe ar ki thaklo ! Ana chhilo amar khub kachhe, taake ami bhalobastam bondher diner faka schooltay. taake niye kat to somoy , kibhabe... bujhate parlam na... hoytoba ei karone je bujhate gele sob sesh hoye jay ! keno bujhbo sob kichhu? ei proshno o aseni mone... jodi ba ashto... taholeo hoytoba bujhar apran chestatai bere jete aro... ! kintu jai hok, bujhte gechhilam ami sob kichhu... tai Ana ke o hariye felechhi... Frankestein hoytoba kokhonoi ashto na.. kintu Ana to chhilo ! ekhon to Frankestein kokhono kokhono hasi thattar porjaye o pore jay ! asol kotha nijekei contradict korechhi chirokal... ja sobcheye boro bhul chhilo... kintu bar bar ei bhul kora chhara ar kono rastao je chhilo na amar kachhe ! rater faka classroom e ekta bhul Frankestein asar opekkhay o ontoto Ana ke niye thik thakte partam... sotyii partam kina ekhon bola day... kintu sei somoy sundor chhilo eta ami na mene parlam na ! sei dhongsho stup baritar samner kuo ta chhilo hoytoba kothao , khujte berobo berobo kore onek deri hoye gelo... aar sob hariye gelo somoyer sathe ! kotodin ke kar jonyo opekkha korte pare ? eternity mane ki ? se sob proshne jachchhina ! kintu ekhon ami kothay achhi se tuku jodi thk kore bolte partam... ! kobe berobo... aar berobo berobo kore jodi e jatray aar hoyna... hoytoba Anao Spain r kono ek bismrito chhotto graame nei... dhongsho stup baritao municipality hoytoba tule diyechhe ! hoytoba Frankestein r jonyo jothesto ondhokar o aar nei prithibite ! amar toiri "dark room" e to aar oke dakte parbona... chestao korbona... ei tuku lojja jodi thake amar ! bondher diner amar schooltao temon aar shanto ar faaka thakena.... ! jabo jabo kore aar jaoa holona.... Ana tumi sukhe thako... dukkhe thako Frankestein r ashar opekkhay thako... onyo kono ek prithibite , jekhane niome raat hoy.. bhor aase... jekhane sobkichhu thik aar poriskar-porichchhono kore dewar probonota manuser ekhono hoyni... ! amar bastob hochchhe , tomar sathe aar konodin dekha hobena ! bastob ke bhule beche thaka shikhte parlam na amra... !

(***actual date Friday, January 30, 2009)

onek din por... hotat sedin majh rate nijeke eka peyechhilam... hotat ichchhe holo kichhu bolar achhe... ei somoy bole feli...
.
kichhu mithye bolar chhilo
ami mohapurush noy...
ek ek it-pathore deyal gorechhilam
onek uchu ar shokto hoye gechhe
amar durashar cheyeo shokto
amar akankhar cheye onek onek uchu

ek ekta norom hat
somoyer probahe dhele diyechhilam srote...
tara bhese gechhe... bhese jachchhe por por...

ek juger porer ei rat dupur
ektu mithye bolbo... shunbe ki?
amio chhuechhi shishir
amakeo bhijiye gechhe hazar borsha..
gunechhi amio bokar moto tara
ami mohapurush noy !

amar bolar achhe...
hat dhore niye jao khola chhade...
akasher tolay eka bhoy hoy...
oshoreerir kanna bhijiye jay amayo!
somoy osustho hole...

ami bhule jachchhi din-rat-ghorir kata...
amake chhuye bolo,"tumi achho... ei to"

katar bhoye ful jhore gechhe kotobar
tader podochinho amar ghorer pas diyei gechhe...
fupiye kada obhisopto bolei
hoyto jol aseni chokhe..

amay kono paap chhute pareni..
asole amii chhute pareni oder..
nirapod chole gechhe ora
anyo rasta dhore... dure..
janalay porda dhele sunechhi sisheer borsha!

aj arekta rat o hariye jabe...
ei jug alomoy...
chokh dhadano alomoy!
pore thakbe ek cup coffee
ar sob bhul...sob bhul...
pore thakbe ekta lok
ghun dhora ghorer syet syete bichhanay...
boye cholbe ojosro norom haat..
baire tokhon sukno shiulir jhore pora...
tai ekbar bole jao..
"ei to tumi achho..."

(***actual date Friday, January 23, 2009)

something... something I want to express completely in my own language..."sylheti"... this is for me... n only for me...


ou kintu matha gorom or... ou or kintu... gorom or... kono ek gramer kono ek baarir gudam ghoror pichhone ek burir degor jol gorom or... dupur 1.30 ta baaji gechhe.... sob betain... kheto ekhono... jol gorom or.... bur bur bur bur shobde jol gorom or.... baspo uriya jar.... burir mukhor "birir" dhuar loge tal milaiya baspo urer.... pichher bash jharo... baashe baashe ghosha khaiya khes khes shobdo.... ekta bura kaak boroi gachho boiya.... klanto golay....ka...aa....aa.... bhanga golay daakar chesta korer.... ar kichhu bogurar bachchyain tor kochi golar ekloge awaj.... batash halke aichhe koi thaki.... kichhu baash pata uriya aiya porer.... burir dego.... jol ek chhitka halka gorom burir nako... matro ek chhitka.... jol gorom or.... dure matho jeno keu keure dakle.... "oooo...huuuu....."..... sob miliya.... amar mathar bhitre jol gorom or.... din rait gorom or....

...in search of a lost winter...

***actual date Tuesday, December 16, 2008)

"Ekta bismrito sheet kaal..."

...ei shohore (Kolkata) kokhono kobiguru likhechhilen "shiter haway lahlo nachon amlokir oi dale dale.." sei chhobir jolrong kichhuta chokher patay niye ei shohore asha... dukkher kotha holo amlokir dal uni kothay thik dekhechhilen... "bol pur"... na "sealdah"... na "jora sako"... kothay.... !! ei shohore jodio... era bole shit ... amar haad kapayni ekhono.... karon paharer chheleder kuashay jonmo ar meghe meghe boro howa... jaihok... osob kothay jachchhina... tobe kal raat sotyi kuasha porechhilo amader mathe... besh ghono... sotyi ghono... tai cigarette mukhe dilam... cigarette r dhua ar kuashay tofat thakchhena kichhui... mone porlo kono ek kale likhechhilam kichhu line,

kuasha ar cigarette r dhuya

jokhon ek hoye jay, tomar kotha bhabi

jokhon chaler shishir bristi hoye name

rater shese, tomar kotha bhabi...

jaihok se ek kaler kotha.... kobita prosonge jachchhina... bepar ta holo ei kuasha amake chirokal tenechhe... etotuku mone pore sudhu... onek din hoye gelo... kuasha ar amar eka dekha hoyni pray !! or achhe tara... ashte na ashtei chole jete hobe... ar amar tara nei janalar baire dekhar.... !! janina ke kokhon prothom somoyer concept diyechhilo... sedin thekei prithibir barota bejechhe hoytoba...!! sobar somoyer boro obhab... jaihok... tobu shunte pai... "thanda poregechhe... "/"thanda ebar besh porbe..."/ "shit bodhoy ebar khub ekta nei..." jaihok.... chhotobelay sheet mane sheet i chhilo... Dip jemon bollo... ekhon hritu kota... sotyi amio janina.. thik kota... ar jototai hok... eder ki nijoswo alada kore ostitwo ar achhe kina janina ! tobu... shit pore... jodio poush-magh sheet thakar kotha (ke,kake,kobe ei kotha diyechhilo jigges korben na!) kintu din koyek shit porlei ami chhoriye dei nijeke bichhanar bistor mathe khor kuto jaliye...pashe otiter... ar kichhu korar hoytoba thakte pare... samortho nei !

...samortho onek kichhur i ar nei... protita khone lojjito hochchhi.. here jachchhi... mamar barir goyal ghore... jomano bichuli te oklanto lafiye berano oi chheletar kachhe... here jachchhi... oi chheletar kachhe jar priyo chhilo ekdin "chunga-pitha"... je biriyani ki jontur nam ta jan to na! ... sei chheleta... jar kachhe khorer toiri "mera-meri"r ghor chhilo... "inox" theke ontoto "undefined" gun beshi sukher....(kototuku thik... bujhate parlam na... hoytoba nijeo bujhe uth te parchhina!)... asol kotha... shit jokhon ashe... kuasha jokhon pore... amar kachhe egulo obhishap hoyei ashe.... jemon manusher kachhe sobcheye dukkher jinis hochchhe sobcheye khusir jiniser onuposthiti...!

Stegnating Soul... in a damp swamp....

(***actual date Sunday, November 30, 2008)

chinta-dharay jokhon notunotwer obhab dekha dey, tokhon sristi theme jay, etao ekdhoroner mrityu ! Amar hoytoba tai hoyechhe ! prokriti emon obosthay dhongsher poth dhore nijeke nihsesh kore dey, notun kore atmoprokasher lobhe, amar kachhe sei upay o nei ar lobh tao lop peyechhe hoytoba ...
Emon thomke jabar dine kolome shoibal dhore ar kali shukiye ase, mathay aste aste ghoon dhorte arombho kore aar canteener radio te bajte thake...

"jokhon porbena mor payer chinho ei bate
ami baibona.... ami baibona mor kheya tori
eighate..... "

ar majhe modhyei theke theke sopno ase jemon goto rat....

 

gotorat mrityur sathe dekha hoyechhilo
cycle chepe ami ar chhorda bohudur...
kichhu jana kichhu ojana poth,
sada-kalo dhulomoy kacha rasta dhore...
dokani-hin dokane solojjo chhotomamar mukhe cigarette,
ar amader boro hoye othar prothom sihoron...
goto jonmer porichita geyo sundoreer sathe dekha..
ek jholok !

tarpor tepantor gochher math bhenge
sei sada-kalo maron rasta
aka baka cholegechhe dhusorayito goto jonme..

rastar seshe pahar churay bistirno math...
ochena kichhu cheharay ghire ami..
ar amar gaan bhese cholechhe
kromagoto binnosto porbot rashir matha chhuye...

goto jonmer sundoreer maron hasee...
protifolito pahare...
sobhyotar mrityur sathe dekha hoyechhilo !

...Midnight

(**actual date Friday, November 21, 2008)

At this hour of night... only these lines are coming in my mind...

"And the days are like
Vagabond clouds on vacant skies.
And this road always by my window.
The vista of years passed by…
Dreams dreamt and forgotten:
The heart has left then for its land…
Now desolation in my December’s cold…
Light a candle, sit by the fire,
Lets talk… we all are going somewhere.
And in the evening I shall try to reach:
In the morning I try to clutch
What I left there.
Then in the after rain road
When people walk in their drowsiness,
I cry out to the empty skies…
Everything that was, everything
That is, from top to bottom
Me only me…
We live like this."

... from the poem "Directionless clouds" by Sandipan...
I just wanted to share this feeling with you all... if there is any all at all !!

Jemon Chhilam... Jemon achhi... ei goppo!

 (**actual date Wednesday, November 5, 2008)

This is all about how confused and self inconsistent I'm ... and may be not at all... the fact is that I am not going to illustrate anything about this or that... I've to post something that I've written on a paper... at some lost hour of a day... and that I'll do it at any cost now... if you too want to loose an hour of the day in vague u are welcome...

onek somoyi ami bhabi... shudui bhabi... bhabbona bole bolte shuru kori kotha... bolte shuru kori ojosro... tarpor? tarpor nei!! chup kore jai... kintu bhabi...bhabi ar ki je bhabi.... bhabi sob furiye giyeo furoyna keno... abar furoyo... shishir...ghash...komola rod... haay..haay... ar koto!! ar koto chhole bole.. bishhad gyapon...? ar konto fondi? tarpor cholte suru kori... shuru kori bolte... onek abol tabol... onek haasi... hasi pay o! hasir fuljhori... jhori...jhore pori... kintu kahini ar egoyna! golpe nayok nei.. thakleo nayokotter obhab! nayika nei... nei boichitro...nei oikyo!!! shudhui osamonjosyo... ojosro matray bhul... byakoron bhul.. sob bhul !!! "puri"r ghaate kara jeno bole othe... "ami pagol hoye jabo" haah... ar koto? ar koto faaki? chholona ? keu bole "anondomargi"... janina.. hoytoba... !!! kintu he "ananda" tomay "bibek"er pashei manay...! amar chaina...! chaina... beshir bhagito chaina!! "china"r koto unnoti dekho..! bathroomer swochchho tiles e bose bhabi... "aynay amay kemon lage" eta sesh kobe ghotechhilo... "ye kahani fir sahi.." chosmar bhetor dekhi... dhuke jai... aro aro. aarna!! ooof.. aar na! kintu ki ki "na"... Bordhoman e kaashbon achhe... "kaash jhore jay... jhore jay... nodir teere.." jhore jaay.. jhore jaay... ekjug aager reling e shewlao jomechhe... syet syete dine robindra sangeet.. manay ki na bujhte parchhina ! kisher saathe je ki manay ? kake bolbo... kauke nijer che biggo mone hoyna je !! tobu j thak... tobu... thak... tobu cholo aj... daruchinir deshe.. tobu bhalo tobu bhalo... kaash jhoruk... eorope e... tobu thak... shishire ghaaser chholona..! aaj ar kichhui bolona ..."

the ultimate point is "nothing" and around that its circling and circling and circling... getting no way out for something new... cuz theres nothing new... this "nothing" keeps on circling and the new dynamics of this "nothing" appears to be new... thats it and thats all!!